Friday, June 19, 2015

The Joy of Singleness: Focusing on Others

  I want to be a person that finds joy in every circumstance, who praises God for what He has blessed me with instead of complaining about what He hasn't given me. To help with this, I want to have regular posts about the joys of singleness, to remind me, to remind you, that God has given us abundance through accepting Him and His death on the cross. So here is the first joy I have found in singleness.

 I have been trying to think of what my first joy of singleness could be. It's not that I don't have any. I have read so many good books and articles from Christian leaders, pastors, and women who have traveled this journey before me that have given me plenty of ideas. But I wanted it to be personal- something I am going through right now. I have struggled for a while, but only yesterday realized that it had been right in front of me this whole time.
 I was making cards, yesterday. One, with the ice cream cones, just a little thank you to a sweet lady in my church, and the other a congratulations to my friend who just got engaged. I was cutting and creating and thinking about what a small blessing this could be in their lives, I know getting sweet notes from friends is a blessing to me. And that made me think of something my sister did for me.

 A while ago I was filling out a form and suddenly my sister wrapped her arms around me.

 "Hey, I'm writing," I said.

 "I know. I just thought I would help you fill your need for touch."

 She knew what I needed and sought to meet that need. Which made me wonder then and yesterday as I was making cards, What do my family and friends need and I can I fill that need? 
 Right now, my parents need help washing dishes and making dinner.

 Right now, I have two friends going through hard times that need prayer.

 Right now, the young high schooler in my summer class needs a kind smile.

 Right now, I am in the perfect position to help them.

 I realized that I have so much time to invest in other people. I have time to spend a whole afternoon with a dear friend I haven't seen in a while. I have time to figure out what my mother needs and help her. I was able to go downtown with a friend for a spur of the moment trip.

 Yes, it is awkward being a part of my family again but being distant and separate at the same time. It is strange being a third wheel with married or dating friends, And I would be lying if I said I enjoyed floating from place to place and never feeling like I belong anywhere and not having one person to devote my life to. But maybe the world needs floaters. Maybe God wants to use my floating to reach out to others.

 Maybe it is as simple as making a card for my friend who got engaged. Maybe it is as hard as sharing the gospel with the guy on the plane hitting on me. Whether hard or easy, it is glorifying God by loving others the way Jesus loves me.


  1. Great post, Allison! This is both convicting and encouraging. :)
    I too enjoy having the time and freedom to do things for and with other people...though it can be a sacrifice of self-will sometimes. ;) It's not that dating/courting/ married women can't ever do these things, but they must defer to their husband's needs first.

  2. Thanks, Paige!
    Yeah we just have this flexibility that only comes with singleness and it can be really nice. :)

  3. Thanks for this post Allison! I really appreciated the practical "what can I do right now?" approach. Even down to helping your mother wash dishes (something that I particularly dislike!). This post has inspired me to sit down and try to list out, like you did, ways that I can help others "right now"!


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