Tuesday, July 21, 2015

The Joy of Singleness: Turning to Christ

  Recently, I read an article that said it is much harder for married people to be focused completely on Christ than it is for singles. This wasn't to bash marriage or necessarily show couples their sin. Rather, it was pointing out a strength of being single.

 This made me take a look at my life.

 When I am afraid, I run to Jesus. If I was married I would run first to my husband.

 When I am alone, I turn to Jesus. If I had a boyfriend I would turn first to him.

 Though I admit I do not run to Jesus as quickly as I should, in the end I always do. But would I if I had a boyfriend or husband? I hope I would, but I can't say for sure. Having a significant other doesn't mean that you will never fully rely on God, but I think it usually makes it harder.

 I would be lying if I said I always completely rely on my Savior. I admit shamefully that sometimes Jesus is my last resort. I would also be lying if I said this was a blessing I want. Yes, I desperately want to cling to Christ and see my need for him- I think my soul longs for this more than I can ever know. But I would never have chosen to bring that about through my singleness. I guess that is the greatness of the God we worship. A God who takes hard things and turns them into good.

 So I am rejoicing in the fact that my singleness makes me turn to Christ. That it helps me depend on Him. That every day I can clearly see I need Him because of my single status.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Forgotten Flower

 I can't explain certain days.

 In a wave the loneliness floods me.

 Like the waves of the ocean retreating, I know it will come back.

 So why am I always surprised when it does?

 I have nightmares of drowning in total darkness, and when I wake up I am facing my worst fear, the blackness so thick I grab handfuls of it, but I can never grab enough to get back to the light.

 Often, it feels like my singleness is the darkness.

 When did I start living my worst nightmare?

 Was it when I suddenly realized I was old enough to have it but I didn't have it?

 Was it when engagements and marriages began happening to couples younger and the same age as me and I have never even been asked out before?

 Was it when I turned 21?

 Was it when I realized that all of the names I picked out for my future children may only come alive through characters in my novels?


 Aleah Grace.



 I can't explain certain days.

 I don't remember being a beautiful flower picked only to be dropped onto a rock to wither and die.

 But even that flower had a purpose- to be the focus of my camera lens, to be of comfort to me, to shrivel there and die forgotten by everyone.

 But God saw that flower.

 He sees me.

 He sees my darkness.

 He sees my waves of loneliness.

 I can't explain certain days like, today.

Where I feel like a forgotten, withering flower but somehow in that despair am given hope.

I fall asleep in darkness, but I am a princess.

I am fading in the sun on a rock, but I will someday be part of a grand bouquet for my King.


Tuesday, July 7, 2015

5 Tips on How a Single Girl can Get Through a Summer of Weddings

 I love weddings. I love watching the groom's eyes glimmer as he sees his bride come down the aisle. I love seeing each bride's unique style in the flower arrangements and gowns. But sometimes they can be hard. It is hard watching another friend get married; it is hard to see a couple younger than you exchange smiles as they cut the cake. So here are five simple ways a single girl can get through the endless amount of summer weddings.

 1. Find a way to help the bride and groom on their special day. 

  This could be helping to make favors a month before the wedding, doing the bride's make-up, being a part of the cleaning crew after the reception, or being a busy member of the bridal party. No matter what the bride needs help with, if you focus on serving I guarantee you will be less likely to feel sorry for yourself.

 2. Know before the wedding how you will answer questions or comments about your singleness. 

  If you have a plan for how you will deal with these awkward situations, it will go a lot more smoothly. For example, when a old family friend says, "Now when are you getting married?", instead of feeling angry or hurt, you could plan to say, "Whenever God puts the right man in my life", or something like that. 

3. Wear a smile and a pretty dress. 

  This is a celebration, a party, so have fun! We are to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Narcissistic and jealous thoughts have no place, so be happy for these two people that God has blessed and rejoice with them.

 4. Pray. 

  This may sound so simple, but I think we often forget the power of prayer. If you know that this wedding will be difficult for you, spend time in prayer before the battle has begun. Pray that you will not be tempted to mourn your undesired singleness, that you will not become bitter or jealous, but that you will be able to be happy for your friends. Pray for the right attitude and contentment in where God has you. Pray for peace; pray for joy over all that the Father has blessed you with, for it is much. 

 5.  Remember the bigger picture. A wedding represents Christ and His bride the church. 

  This may not be your wedding, but it represents a wedding where all believers will be the bride of Christ. That is our hope, and we wait for it with longing.

 I would love to also hear your thoughts on ways this season of weddings can be turned into joy!