Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Three Simple Principles for Single Young Women


 I have much to learn, especially in the area of singleness and living my singleness well, but here are three simple, big picture principles for single women that I have gleaned from reading books, watching other single women, and being single myself for my entire life. 

1. Take your singleness one day at a time.

    I wish I could remember where I read this, but is has been some of the best advice on singleness I have ever heard. Picturing myself single for the rest of my life is painful, so instead,  I live my singleness day by day through the strength I have in the Holy Spirit. There is a reason God has not told me how long I will remain single; if He had told me my freshman year of college that I would be single for the next four and a half years, I don't know how I would have survived college. So it is something he has wisely not burdened me with, and I praise Him for that and simply take my singleness one day at a time.

2. Do not compare yourself.

      I have met ladies that made me feel I couldn't possibly ever have a boyfriend or husband if they were the standard. They were more beautiful than me, more talented, and had a closer walk with God, and I thought because of that no man could ever want me, a girl who couldn't compare to them. I have met ladies I thought were not as beautiful or talented or spiritual as me who were happily married and I thought that surely meant I would get married too. Either way, playing the comparison game only harms me. It is a game I have played many times and it only leads to jealousy, self pity, and a strange combination of self loathing and pride. 

3. Do something with the life of singleness you have been given.

     Again, I do not say this from experience, but simply as a truth I am trying to faithfully live out. I wish I was better at focusing more on who I want to be as a godly young woman than the fact that I am single. The truth is that "single me" and "married me" both need to grow in love, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control. Whether I am a Miss or a Mrs., my first priority is becoming more like Jesus.  However "single me" has freedom and opportunities that "married me" would never have, and I hope to use this time (however long it is) to glorify God and take advantage of my singleness.