Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Three Simple Principles for Single Young Women


 I have much to learn, especially in the area of singleness and living my singleness well, but here are three simple, big picture principles for single women that I have gleaned from reading books, watching other single women, and being single myself for my entire life. 

1. Take your singleness one day at a time.

    I wish I could remember where I read this, but is has been some of the best advice on singleness I have ever heard. Picturing myself single for the rest of my life is painful, so instead,  I live my singleness day by day through the strength I have in the Holy Spirit. There is a reason God has not told me how long I will remain single; if He had told me my freshman year of college that I would be single for the next four and a half years, I don't know how I would have survived college. So it is something he has wisely not burdened me with, and I praise Him for that and simply take my singleness one day at a time.

2. Do not compare yourself.

      I have met ladies that made me feel I couldn't possibly ever have a boyfriend or husband if they were the standard. They were more beautiful than me, more talented, and had a closer walk with God, and I thought because of that no man could ever want me, a girl who couldn't compare to them. I have met ladies I thought were not as beautiful or talented or spiritual as me who were happily married and I thought that surely meant I would get married too. Either way, playing the comparison game only harms me. It is a game I have played many times and it only leads to jealousy, self pity, and a strange combination of self loathing and pride. 

3. Do something with the life of singleness you have been given.

     Again, I do not say this from experience, but simply as a truth I am trying to faithfully live out. I wish I was better at focusing more on who I want to be as a godly young woman than the fact that I am single. The truth is that "single me" and "married me" both need to grow in love, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control. Whether I am a Miss or a Mrs., my first priority is becoming more like Jesus.  However "single me" has freedom and opportunities that "married me" would never have, and I hope to use this time (however long it is) to glorify God and take advantage of my singleness.


  1. Oh my goodness, yes. This single part of our lives can either be two things; a blessing, or something that we hate. I've dedicated myself to let it be a growing process, a time for some serious spiritual growth and getting to know who I am, and in return, finding out what kind of man I want to marry if that is God's will for my life. I've learned to be content with where I'm at, and I'm even finding that as I grow closer to God and as I get more confident in who He made me to be, I'm even comfortable with the idea of staying single long term, something I could have never imagined before.


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