Last week I shared about how my future husband became my idol. If you missed that, click here to read it.
To finish that discussion, I thought it would be helpful to share some practical things I have found that help to prevent making my future husband my idol. I think a lot of the danger here is making marriage the epitome of my happiness, leading me and others to making our future husbands our idols. Here are some practical ways I have found to help me keep marriage more of a wish instead of an evil idol.
1. Stay away from love songs.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn and a hard thing for me to do. I absolutely love Spotify and I absolutely adore love songs. I had made a playlist that was many hours long and I kept adding onto it. But I realized that when I listened to that playlist my attitude changed. It was a painful reminder of something I didn't have and desperately wanted, and I would often become depressed, discontent, and allow my heart to begin forming my future husband as an idol. I truly believe that music is powerful and effects us more than we usually realize, and it was very sobering when I realized what my love songs were doing to me. Though I literally cringed as I deleted the playlist I had painstakingly put together, it has made a huge difference in my life. I still will listen to love songs, but I no longer listen to a long playlist that goes on for hours and causes me to sin.
2. Stay away from weddings on Pinterest.
You've seen all of the wedding boards, wedding pinners, wedding photographers and organizations filling boards with hundreds of pins. Well I suggest not following any of them. Similarly to my love songs, I realized that when I saw these boards full of wedding ideas on my feed or looked up gorgeous lace wedding dresses I became discontent. The images fed my desire and made me jealous for the wedding not in my near future. So I un-followed every board that had to do with weddings. I made a rule that I cannot look up weddings. I even un-followed some of my friend's wedding boards. However, I did keep my future wedding board, but it is private and I try to never look for things to pin onto it.
3. Limit the number of romance novels and movies you watch.
My last big weakness is books and movies. Though I am not into most of the current Christian romance novels, I love reading a good romance, and I am a sucker for any Jane Austen type movie. But I had to be careful how many of those books I read and how many period dramas I watched. They can make me discontent and cause me to sin in my heart, so I have had to be careful and limit these things that I love.
I would like to close with a disclaimer that I am not claiming that these are three rules every single woman should follow. These are just three things that have helped me in huge ways as I struggle with my singleness and fight to take away this idol in my life. I am not trying to say that every single girl should do them, too. Maybe you listen to love songs but do not feel like they are causing you to stumble. If that is true I am glad. We are all different and struggle with different things. I just wanted to share with you what I have found to be helpful.
That being said, what are things that help you not make your future husband your idol? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!
What great tips! One of the things I try to do is to pray for my future husband every morning and evening. Not only do I pray for his safety and that God's timing would bring us together, but I also pray for his character; his relationship with God as well as his family. This helps me focus on his heart, rather than what he might look like, etc.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, that is a good one. Thanks!
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