Marriage, Heaven, and FOMO

 I am a person who experiences a lot of FOMO. If you don't know, FOMO is the fear of missing out. When I am home I am afraid of what I am missing at school. When I am at school I am afraid of what is happening without me at home. If I go to the party, I am convinced my family or roommates will have a movie night including popcorn without me, but if I stay home I just think about all the fun I am missing. Mostly, I fear that I am missing out on what it means to really be in love, have a family, and be married. 

  During my junior year of college, I had a lit professor say he couldn't believe there wouldn't be marriage in heaven, despite what the Bible said. The conversation was a bunny trail from the start, and not wanting to cause problems, I didn't push the issue. I also recognized that this was not from a man who would generally disregard the Bible. Though I have a problem with how quickly he did disregard the Word of God, I realized that for my professor it may be more of an emotional response. He loved his wife so much he couldn't imagine heaven without being married to her. 

 But no matter how much my professor loves his wife, this does not change what the Bible says. In Mark 12, the Sadducees ask Jesus a question to try to trick him. They tell him a story about a woman who had seven different husbands before she too died and they ask Jesus whose wife she will be in the resurrection, for surely she couldn't belong to all of them in heaven. "Jesus said to them, 'Is this not the reason you are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures not the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven '" (Mark 12:18-25, ESV). 

 Likewise, in Matthew 22:30, it says, "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven" (ESV).  

 There will be no marriage in heaven, and this was my light-bulb moment; somehow, between God given desires, the culture we live in, and my sinfulness, marriage became my biggest desire and most important goal and the only way I thought I could be happy. But how could it be the only thing that would make me happy if it wasn't even going to be a part of heaven? 

 An earthly marriage is not my hope. That is now clear to me. Not only is marriage simply a picture of Christ and the church, but it will not exist in heaven, or at least in the way it does on earth. We will be married to Jesus because He is everything that matters on heaven and on earth. Since marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, when we are finally with Him, we will not need our earthly marriages, and to this single young woman with FOMO, that is freeing. I am not missing out on marriage because someday, when I am in heaven for an eternity where the only marriage will be our relationship with Christ, I will not be missing out on anything. I will have everything. Really, the people who are missing out are those outside Christ and not those of us who are single. 

 The part of scripture my professor could not accept has become one of the sweetest truths for me. Though marriage is a wonderful gift from God, it is just a picture of Christ and His church, and the picture cannot become more important than what the picture is truly meant for us to see. I am not missing out on anything because in heaven I will have everything.

Choosing Joy

 I have been putting off writing this post. Between trying to think of a topic to write about (besides a book review on a book I read half a year ago and need to flip through again) and getting distracted with the other windows open on my computer, I realized I don't want to write anything, today. It's not the lazy "I don't feel like writing or thinking right now", but more like, "Oh yeah, I had kind of forgotten that I was single until I realized it was time for another post on my singleness blog." Because confession; part of me hates the fact that this blog exists.

 This blog exists because I am single. I don't want to be single.

 This blog exists because I thought that instead of feeling bitter about my singleness I should share my experiences with others, have a creative outlet for my struggles and experiences, and find the joy in my situation. It would be easier to be bitter.

 This blog exists to connect single Christian girls together so that we can encourage each other. If I'm honest, I'd rather meet single Christian guys. 

 If I'm honest, this blog is often just a reminder that most girls have a sweet, godly, young man that tells them they are beautiful and special and I don't, so I blog about it, hoping to sound at least some what intelligent, experienced, cheerful and joyful about my boy-friendless life. I'm often not. 

 I have been asking God to give me joy. He is teaching me that a big part of joy is choosing to be joyful instead of dwelling on what I feel. 

 I am single, and it stinks. I am going to be single for quite a while, and that stinks even more. I don't think God has called me to pretend to like it. But I know that He has called me to tell Him my struggles, fears, and sorrows, to ask Him to help me get through the day, then to stand up and do something, whether it is going to work, hanging out with a friend, or writing the next blog post. 

 So today I am choosing joy. May He give me the strength to choose joy tomorrow.