A Letter to My Readers

Dear Readers,

    Don't worry. I haven't given up on this blog.

    But my senior year of college is busier and fuller than I ever imagined it would be, and I simply have no time to keep up with blog posts. Not if I want to read my Bible and pray, maintain  relationships, get decent grades, tutor, work on my novel, work on my senior thesis, and do well at my internship.

   My busy schedule  has been helping me see my singleness as a gift, though. I still want to be married someday. I still would like a boyfriend right now. But that would be a commitment that would have to come before a lot of the things I prioritize now.

 Right now, God has given me the gift of being able to focus on school, something that I have wished away all four years of college. Something I hope to now be thankful for.

 God knows even more than I do what I need, and in this busy time in my life he has given me the opportunity to simply focus on all that He has put before me. God knows how much of a distraction a boyfriend would be.

 That being said, I do plan on writing more posts as soon as time allows, which may be December.

 If you are reading this thank you for being patient, and I look forward to writing again as well as connecting with more single ladies.

Do you have any topics, subjects, 

or ideas about singleness you would 

like to see in a future blog post? 

Feel free to comment with suggestions!

My Beauty and My Lack of Dates

 

 I have never been asked out.

 Okay, maybe once. But it didn't count. It was in high school and this guy wanted me to go to the prom with him because he knew we could just go as friends. But he never had the nerve to ask me. He just announced to the room that he would like me to go with him. So in my book that doesn't count.

 Guys don't flirt with me.

 Okay, two have. The first guy sat next to me on the plane and was a bored extrovert and getting more drunk with each gulp of beer. The second guy I think just wanted to be friends and didn't know how to be friendly without flirting. So those don't really count either.

 I have never been on a date.

 Period. 

 Not even ones that I can say they don't count. 

 So I did what I think every other girl would do. I did a math equation in my head. No dates = No beauty. What other explanation could there be?

 Well let me tell you, LOTS!

 Maybe it means that the guys that are attracted to me value me as a child of God and as a woman who's heart they don't want to take chances with unless they know for sure they want to pursue a relationship with me.

 Maybe they tend to be more quiet like me.

 Maybe no guy has ever been attracted to me. At least enough to do something about it.

 I don't know why I have never gone on a date.

 I may never know why. It may be one of the many questions I ask Jesus in Heaven.

 But this is what I have to ask myself: 

 Do I believe that I am beautiful? 

 Not beautiful in the sense that I could be a model, that the boys don't know what they are missing, that I just have to believe in myself and be confident in my beauty. No, the beauty I am talking about is how God formed me in my mother's womb, how He made me look and be exactly what He imagined and intended for me. How could I want black hair? How could I dream of a perfect tan when the Master of the Universe created me to be the way I am? My beauty is not based on how many guys have liked me, but in the way my God created me. In the way He sent His son to die for my wicked sins against Him.

Do I believe that I can trust God?

 God gave me brown, wavy hair, hazel eyes, and Snow White pale skin for a reason. I am also single for a reason. I've never been on a date for a reason. All reasons that I don't know. Sometimes I don't like the skin, hair, and eyes God gave me. I confess I hate my single status. But do I trust My God who set all of this in motion? Who commanded my eyes to be hazel and decreed before the foundation of the earth that at the age of 21 I still would never have gone on a date? Yes, I trust Him. I trust the one who knows how alone and frustrated I can feel. Who decreed that I be single and feel lonely. Who also gave me the ultimate cure for my loneliness. Because who else would I trust?

 So I believe my beauty, my worth, is only in one man who was also fully God and was sent to die for me. 

 I believe that I can trust the very one who has called me to be single. The very one who has given me life.  

 Sometimes I imagine what it will be like when I get to heaven and I can ask Jesus anything.

 "How did all of the different races come from only Adam and Eve?"
 "What happened to the Roanoke Colony?"
 "Why did no guy ever ask me out?"

 "I was protecting your wayward heart for one guy," Jesus might say.
  "To teach you patience."
 "To help you only rely on me."

Or maybe, when I get to heaven, it will already not matter because I will be with the One my soul longs for.

My Future Husband is My Idol Part 2

 Last week I shared about how my future husband became my idol. If you missed that, click here to read it.

 To finish that discussion, I thought it would be helpful to share some practical things I have found that help to prevent making my future husband my idol. I think a lot of the danger here is making marriage the epitome of my happiness, leading me and others to making our future husbands our idols. Here are some practical ways I have found to help me keep marriage more of a wish instead of an evil idol. 

1. Stay away from love songs.

  This was a hard lesson for me to learn and a hard thing for me to do. I absolutely love Spotify and I absolutely adore love songs. I had made a playlist that was many hours long and I kept adding onto it. But I realized that when I listened to that playlist my attitude changed. It was a painful reminder of something I didn't have and desperately wanted, and I would often become depressed, discontent, and allow my heart to begin forming my future husband as an idol. I truly believe that music is powerful and effects us more than we usually realize, and it was very sobering when I realized what my love songs were doing to me. Though I literally cringed as I deleted the playlist I had painstakingly put together, it has made a huge difference in my life. I still will listen to love songs, but I no longer listen to a long playlist that goes on for hours and causes me to sin. 

2. Stay away from weddings on Pinterest.

 You've seen all of the wedding boards, wedding pinners, wedding photographers and organizations filling boards with hundreds of pins. Well I suggest not following any of them. Similarly to my love songs, I realized that when I saw these boards full of wedding ideas on my feed or looked up gorgeous lace wedding dresses I became discontent. The images fed my desire and made me jealous for the wedding not in my near future. So I un-followed every board that had to do with weddings. I made a rule that I cannot look up weddings. I even un-followed some of my friend's wedding boards. However, I did keep my future wedding board, but it is private and I try to never look for things to pin onto it. 

3. Limit the number of romance novels and movies you watch.

 My last big weakness is books and movies. Though I am not into most of the current Christian romance novels, I love reading a good romance, and I am a sucker for any Jane Austen type movie. But I had to be careful how many of those books I read and how many period dramas I watched. They can make me discontent and cause me to sin in my heart, so I have had to be careful and limit these things that I love.

 I would like to close with a disclaimer that I am not claiming that these are three rules every single woman should follow. These are just three things that have helped me in huge ways as I struggle with my singleness and fight to take away this idol in my life. I am not trying to say that every single girl should do them, too. Maybe you listen to love songs but do not feel like they are causing you to stumble. If that is true I am glad. We are all different and struggle with different things. I just wanted to share with you what I have found to be helpful.

 That being said, what are things that help you not make your future husband your idol? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!

                                                                                                                     

My Future Husband Is My Idol Part 1

 It began when I was young, the desire for a family that I could only explain through my love of dolls and making the silverware into families. But I was content to pretend.

 Growing up I has so many crushes. They were always the subject of sleepovers, the plot of my stories. But I was content to dream.

 My senior year of high school was the first time I remember wanting a boyfriend. Before it was always a future goal for when I grew up, and suddenly it became something I wanted now. However none of my friends had boyfriends, and I knew I was still young. So I was content to wait. 

 But my sophomore year of college I hit a low I couldn't understand. My good friend and roommate was going to be getting married at the end of the year. It seemed like all of the girls around me were getting boyfriends and I had never even been asked out before. I found myself in a mild depression and though I prayed and begged God to make me happy with everything that He had given me, all of my Bible reading and praying didn't seem to help. I was no longer content to wait.

 Then my mom told me to list out all of my expectations. 

1. I thought guys would be interested in me.

2. I thought I would be asked out.

3. I thought I would have a boyfriend by my sophomore year.

4. I thought I would get married in June after I graduated, because that's what my mom did.

5. I thought all of these dreams and expectations would happen simply because I couldn't handle the thought of them not happening.


 I made that list and I wondered, when did my future husband become my idol? 

 My dreams and wishes for the future had become my expectations. I was no longer content to pretend, dream, and wait. I was convinced it was time for me to have what I most desired, what I had waited for my whole life. My mom had gotten married right after she graduated at the age of 22, and that was exactly what I wanted. But how could that happen when I didn't have a boyfriend by my sophomore year? And that is what mostly brought on the mild depression as I walked around a campus filled with couples.
So one night in the darkness of my room I fell onto the floor and confessed all of this to Jesus and asked Him to take away this idol in my life.

 I wish I could say after that night it was no longer an idol in my life. In fact the only real progress I have made in this area is that I am more quick to see my discontent, jealousy, and how my desire and expectation for marriage someday gets put above Christ.

 But this is what I need to remember on the days I get discouraged:
 1. Jesus already died for this sin. 

 I have done many terrible things in the last 21 years, but for some reason I consider this idol in my life my worst offense against God. Maybe it's because it has been a huge struggle for me for what seems like my whole life. Maybe it's because I can see how it has become the main thing causing a rift in my relationship with Jesus. But either way, Jesus paid for this sin on the cross, I accepted His gift of eternal life, and now nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I still need to confess this sin to Him. I still desperately need His help to battle this, but I am also at peace.


2. Someday I will spend an eternity with Jesus in Heaven.

 Though my flesh denies it, though my heart at times only wants the love of humans, though it is sometimes so hard to believe, this idol called my future husband, this desire in my heart that I long for, will only ever be satisfied in Heaven when I am with Jesus. He is all I want and need. He is all I possess, all that I am. He gave me breath on this earth and gave me eternal life through His death on the cross. Heaven with Him is what I truly long for, and someday that will come true. 

 Do I still long for an earthly husband, someday? Of course. But I have so much to look forward to when I leave this earth, and that is my true hope.

 I am content to pretend, content to dream, content to wait, but unlike my singleness, I know for sure that someday this dream, this desire, this longing to see my Savior will come true. 

                                                                       

                                                                                 

P.S. Don't miss part 2 of this post where I will share with you more practical ways to keep your future husband from becoming an idol!

The Joy of Singleness: Turning to Christ

 

  Recently, I read an article that said it is much harder for married people to be focused completely on Christ than it is for singles. This wasn't to bash marriage or necessarily show couples their sin. Rather, it was pointing out a strength of being single.

 This made me take a look at my life.

 When I am afraid, I run to Jesus. If I was married I would run first to my husband.

 When I am alone, I turn to Jesus. If I had a boyfriend I would turn first to him.

 Though I admit I do not run to Jesus as quickly as I should, in the end I always do. But would I if I had a boyfriend or husband? I hope I would, but I can't say for sure. Having a significant other doesn't mean that you will never fully rely on God, but I think it usually makes it harder.

 I would be lying if I said I always completely rely on my Savior. I admit shamefully that sometimes Jesus is my last resort. I would also be lying if I said this was a blessing I want. Yes, I desperately want to cling to Christ and see my need for him- I think my soul longs for this more than I can ever know. But I would never have chosen to bring that about through my singleness. I guess that is the greatness of the God we worship. A God who takes hard things and turns them into good.

 So I am rejoicing in the fact that my singleness makes me turn to Christ. That it helps me depend on Him. That every day I can clearly see I need Him because of my single status.

The Forgotten Flower

 I can't explain certain days.

 In a wave the loneliness floods me.

 Like the waves of the ocean retreating, I know it will come back.

 So why am I always surprised when it does?

 I have nightmares of drowning in total darkness, and when I wake up I am facing my worst fear, the blackness so thick I grab handfuls of it, but I can never grab enough to get back to the light.

 Often, it feels like my singleness is the darkness.

 When did I start living my worst nightmare?

 Was it when I suddenly realized I was old enough to have it but I didn't have it?

 Was it when engagements and marriages began happening to couples younger and the same age as me and I have never even been asked out before?

 Was it when I turned 21?

 Was it when I realized that all of the names I picked out for my future children may only come alive through characters in my novels?

 Micah.

 Aleah Grace.

 Judah.

 Mercy.

 I can't explain certain days.

 I don't remember being a beautiful flower picked only to be dropped onto a rock to wither and die.

 But even that flower had a purpose- to be the focus of my camera lens, to be of comfort to me, to shrivel there and die forgotten by everyone.

 But God saw that flower.

 He sees me.

 He sees my darkness.

 He sees my waves of loneliness.

 I can't explain certain days like, today.

Where I feel like a forgotten, withering flower but somehow in that despair am given hope.

I fall asleep in darkness, but I am a princess.

I am fading in the sun on a rock, but I will someday be part of a grand bouquet for my King.

                                                                                                           

                                                           

5 Tips on How a Single Girl can Get Through a Summer of Weddings

 I love weddings. I love watching the groom's eyes glimmer as he sees his bride come down the aisle. I love seeing each bride's unique style in the flower arrangements and gowns. But sometimes they can be hard. It is hard watching another friend get married; it is hard to see a couple younger than you exchange smiles as they cut the cake. So here are five simple ways a single girl can get through the endless amount of summer weddings.

 1. Find a way to help the bride and groom on their special day. 

  This could be helping to make favors a month before the wedding, doing the bride's make-up, being a part of the cleaning crew after the reception, or being a busy member of the bridal party. No matter what the bride needs help with, if you focus on serving I guarantee you will be less likely to feel sorry for yourself.

 2. Know before the wedding how you will answer questions or comments about your singleness. 

  If you have a plan for how you will deal with these awkward situations, it will go a lot more smoothly. For example, when a old family friend says, "Now when are you getting married?", instead of feeling angry or hurt, you could plan to say, "Whenever God puts the right man in my life", or something like that. 

3. Wear a smile and a pretty dress. 

  This is a celebration, a party, so have fun! We are to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Narcissistic and jealous thoughts have no place, so be happy for these two people that God has blessed and rejoice with them.

 4. Pray. 

  This may sound so simple, but I think we often forget the power of prayer. If you know that this wedding will be difficult for you, spend time in prayer before the battle has begun. Pray that you will not be tempted to mourn your undesired singleness, that you will not become bitter or jealous, but that you will be able to be happy for your friends. Pray for the right attitude and contentment in where God has you. Pray for peace; pray for joy over all that the Father has blessed you with, for it is much. 

 5.  Remember the bigger picture. A wedding represents Christ and His bride the church. 

  This may not be your wedding, but it represents a wedding where all believers will be the bride of Christ. That is our hope, and we wait for it with longing.

 I would love to also hear your thoughts on ways this season of weddings can be turned into joy!

Book Review: "Who Has Your Heart?"

 Synopsis 

 Who Has Your Heart? was written for single women on how to practically live a godly life, using the story of Jephtha's daughter in Judges 11. Jephtha vows to God that the first thing to come out of his house when he returns from war will be given to God as a burnt sacrifice. Sadly, the first to greet him is his daughter. Taking the point of view that Jephtha's daughter's sacrifice is figurative (remaining a virgin her entire life) and she was not literally killed, Emily Ryan uses this young woman's journey as an example for how single women should live their life.

What I Liked

  I loved Emily Ryan's honesty. I loved how she describes the story of Ruth in the Bible. "...Not to sound bitter, but I haven't even had one chance at love and marriage, and this lady gets two!" (29). Because though Ruth has a beautiful story that points us to Christ, our kinsman redeemer, I have often felt the same way. Also, I loved her honesty in the personal story she shared about her sister marrying before her.

 Finally, I loved her conversational writing style. I felt like she was an older sister talking to me, sharing her story, and trying to help me with mine. Not preachy, but loving. Not judging, but accepting.

What I Didn't Like

 Emily Ryan says in her book that as a single woman, she was looking for a role model in the Bible, but everyone was married, except Jephtha's daughter, so she became Emily Ryan's inspiration. But my question is what about Jesus? Isn't Jesus our standard, our perfect example, and our Savior? Why did she pick Jephtha's daughter who is mentioned in only one chapter of Judges when she could have picked Jesus, the theme of the entire Bible? I understand the desire for a female Biblical role model, which is probably the reason why Emily Ryan chose Jephtha's daughter, but Jesus made us and died for us. I think He is more than capable of understanding women. Jesus also remained single for his entire life, making Him in my mind the perfect role model for a single woman and anything else in my life I will face.


  Also, the book goes through Jephtha's daughter's story, each verse and aspect of her character how single women should live their lives. I agree with the principles Emily Ryan is teaching and did learn from them, but felt that it was a huge stretch relating it so closely to Jephtha's daughter's story. For example, the Bible says in Judges 11:34, "Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah. And behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and dances" (ESV). Emily Ryan notes that "Jephtha's daughter knew her identity. She was a tambourine player. And because she knew who she was, she also knew what she was to do" (50). This is referring to the fact that as Jephtha's daughter was a tambourine player and therefore played the tambourine, we need to know who we are (single) and know what we are supposed to do instead of chasing after things that are not ours to do. It was a good lesson, but one that was lost on me because of the somewhat corny message taken from one verse in the Bible that may or may not have been its purpose.

Conclusion

 In conclusion, Who Has Your Heart? was a good read and not a bad or un-biblical book. I have no regrets reading it and was encouraged to know that my thoughts are not that different from other single girls. But I would recommend choosing another book about singleness if that is a topic you are searching for. There are many other books about singleness that I have found to be more worth my time that I hope to share with you in the future! 

                                                                               

                                                      

P.S. This post was originally featured on my personal blog The Truth in Sea Glass if you would like to visit me there.

P.P.S. I am now on Pinterest, as well!

The Joy of Singleness: Focusing on Others

  I want to be a person that finds joy in every circumstance, who praises God for what He has blessed me with instead of complaining about what He hasn't given me. To help with this, I want to have regular posts about the joys of singleness, to remind me, to remind you, that God has given us abundance through accepting Him and His death on the cross. So here is the first joy I have found in singleness.

 I have been trying to think of what my first joy of singleness could be. It's not that I don't have any. I have read so many good books and articles from Christian leaders, pastors, and women who have traveled this journey before me that have given me plenty of ideas. But I wanted it to be personal- something I am going through right now. I have struggled for a while, but only yesterday realized that it had been right in front of me this whole time.
 I was making cards, yesterday. One, with the ice cream cones, just a little thank you to a sweet lady in my church, and the other a congratulations to my friend who just got engaged. I was cutting and creating and thinking about what a small blessing this could be in their lives, I know getting sweet notes from friends is a blessing to me. And that made me think of something my sister did for me.
 
 A while ago I was filling out a form and suddenly my sister wrapped her arms around me.
 
 "Hey, I'm writing," I said.
 
 "I know. I just thought I would help you fill your need for touch."
 
 She knew what I needed and sought to meet that need. Which made me wonder then and yesterday as I was making cards, What do my family and friends need and I can I fill that need? 
 Right now, my parents need help washing dishes and making dinner.
 
 Right now, I have two friends going through hard times that need prayer.
 
 Right now, the young high schooler in my summer class needs a kind smile.
 
 Right now, I am in the perfect position to help them.
 
 I realized that I have so much time to invest in other people. I have time to spend a whole afternoon with a dear friend I haven't seen in a while. I have time to figure out what my mother needs and help her. I was able to go downtown with a friend for a spur of the moment trip.
 
 Yes, it is awkward being a part of my family again but being distant and separate at the same time. It is strange being a third wheel with married or dating friends, And I would be lying if I said I enjoyed floating from place to place and never feeling like I belong anywhere and not having one person to devote my life to. But maybe the world needs floaters. Maybe God wants to use my floating to reach out to others.
 
 Maybe it is as simple as making a card for my friend who got engaged. Maybe it is as hard as sharing the gospel with the guy on the plane hitting on me. Whether hard or easy, it is glorifying God by loving others the way Jesus loves me.

Why I Am Waiting

  

 I have heard so many opinions on the “singles not waiting” topic, including those who have decided they are not waiting in the sense that they are not going to be like Rapunzel quietly waiting for a prince to rescue her. They have a life to live and if God decides to bless them with marriage along the way then fabulous.

 I joined them for a little while. I wasn’t going to waste my singleness simply wishing to not be single. I wasn’t going to think of myself as incomplete because I have been made complete in Christ.

 While I never stopped believing that, there was something wrong, something missing, some reason I couldn’t fully embrace that way of thinking. And it was this: I will never stop waiting.

 I will never stop wishing for a husband, longing for marriage, hoping for a family, wanting one person to love me as long as we lived. And with the wishing, longing, hoping, and wanting comes waiting. Waiting for it to happen. That is the way God made me.

 So I am still waiting. I still hope. I still want. I am always longing.

 Yes, this longing reflects the longing to be reunited with Jesus in Heaven. It is my ultimate longing that will someday be met when I die and look upon my Savior.

 But here on earth I still long for a husband and probably always will.

 So for me the real question is what do I do while I wait, whether that means marriage in Heaven and on earth, or only Heaven?

 1) Trust

   I need to remember that God has a plan for me. Maybe it includes marriage and a family someday, but even if it doesn’t I know I will someday be with Him for all of eternity. Whatever the details of that plan are, I need to trust that He knows what is best as the one who gave me life.

 2) Prepare

  I need to prepare for when I am presented as the bride of Christ—I need to grow in understanding His Word, in sharing my faith, in obedience, humility, love, and joy. I also need to prepare for a possible earthly marriage. Not only will I need become more like Christ, I need to be prepared to maintain a home, cook meals, and take care of children. I need to practice communicating well with others, forgiving, sharing, and sacrificially loving.

 3) Pray

  I pray for a husband, that God will someday give one to me. I pray for patience. I pray that if I am never to marry He will sustain me. Though it is hard, I pray for His will to be done. I pray that ultimately I will be satisfied in Him alone.

5) Follow

    I need to continue glorifying God by doing the tasks he has set for me on earth. Though they change, right now that means school, working, relationships with family and friends, and sharing the gospel.

 While I wait I will not pine away in a tower or remain idle, but I will also not pretend that this isn’t what my heart wants.

 I pray we will be good stewards of this sacred time God has given us and that our longings will make us look to Him.

When No One Touches Me

 It was a class field trip for a religion class my freshman year of college. My classmates and I were walking around Buddhist shrines when this guy suddenly said something and put his hand on me.

 I can’t remember what he said to me. All I remember is that as he was speaking there was a very strong but quiet whimper inside of me saying, “Please let go.”

When he touched me, I realized something about myself that I had never known. I liked his touch. I liked it too much. And he had only touched my shoulder.

 Fast forward to a month ago. I was catching up with one of my guy friends I hadn’t seen in months. For some reason he touched me. Not inappropriately, just a friendly touch. Maybe it showed on my face because then he chivalrously asked me if that was okay.

 I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I told him the truth. “It’s fine,” I said. “I just usually avoid touching the opposite gender in any way because I like it a little too much.”

 As you have probably guessed, physical touch is very important to me. It is my second highest love language only behind quality time simply because physical touch can be quality time.

 It is the hardest part about living away from home, away from my family who will hug me every day. It is the hardest part about being single.

 There were times I didn’t know what to do. God had given me the desire for physical touch and it was good, but it was something he was withholding from me. I longed for a guy’s strong arms around me, a hug from a friend, or the tight grip of a child holding my hand. But none of this was mine. How could this be part of God’s good plan for me?

 Second Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” My weakness, my need for physical touch, is what God is currently using to bring me to Himself, and how much more satisfying is my Savior?

 I remember one night at school crying in my bed without knowing why. Nothing bad had happened that day. I wasn’t pmsing. And then I realized, no one touched me, today.

 But then as I cried harder I began a plea, a prayer saying, “Jesus, please hold me.”

 My lack of physical touch brings me to Jesus. My need brings me to Him on my knees desperate for His touch. And that is why it is good.

The Wedding Slip

There is a wedding slip hanging in my closet. The kind that looks like it could be its own skirt in order to make a wedding dress full. It hangs in the back where I pushed it so I wouldn’t have to look at it and be reminded that I am next.

“This is for Allison,” my aunt said, handing my mother a long, poufy slip.

“For what?”

“Well, she’s the next one that will get married.”

We had just waved goodbye to my last girl cousin to be married, and though it took up too much space in the car and when I tried it on it would have worked better as a train than a slip, we brought it home. Because I was next. Because my three older girl cousins had worn it before me. And my wedding would be the next big event that would bring everyone back together.

Fast forward to another wedding. My family is talking to the bride’s and I hear the words, “Allison is next.”

And I want to say, “Tell God that; not me.” Because within our two families, though I should be the next one to get married according to age, that is not what happens.

But this is what I realized today. I can think about that slip in my closet. I can picture it gathering dust, feeling sad that it may never be used again. Or I can keep it safe in my closet, knowing that for right now, that is where God wants it to be. Maybe someday I will take it out and have it altered. Maybe someday I will give it away to someone who can actually use it. But for now, it is safe in my closet because for reasons I may never understand, that is where God has willed it. This is where God has willed me to be.

                                                                       ~Allison

Welcome!

Like any other blog, An Abundant Singleness started with an idea.

This blog idea was for single Christian young women. A community where we could encourage each other, a tangible reminder that we are not alone, a place to share the truth of the gospel within the context of the situation we find ourselves in. Really, what I have been searching for and imagine others like me are searching for, too.

But I am scared.

Scared because I do not seem equipped for this. Scared that it will not actually reach my sisters in Christ. Scared to admit my deepest desire. But mostly scared because I find myself single. Still. When I wanted to be very not single in a Christian culture that celebrates marriage, living on a campus where many are married before they graduate. So not only am I single, but I have believed the lies that because marriage does not even seem like a possibility after graduation, I am a failure and it is too late for me to ever be married.

And now I am considering proclaiming it to the world.

But I must share the truth with others and myself.

I am 21 years old. I am single. I am a failure, but not because no man has ever liked me enough to pursue me. Rather, I am a failure because I am a sinner. But I have a Savior who loves me so much that He died for me, and through Him I can claim to be a child of God- the exact opposite of failure. I trust in a God that only has what is best for me. So I am a 21 year old single who is reaching out to other singles. And I will not lose hope because only God knows what my future is, and even if it never involves marriage, I will someday spend eternity with God in heaven- my GREATEST desire.

So welcome. I hope you will join me on this journey as I write about the single life and what God is teaching me. But mostly, I hope you will be encouraged, too. Because in Christ, we have abundance despite any of life’s circumstances.